Grief. An Uncertain Road. 

 April 19, 2021

By  Emma

It’s been a long year, hasn’t it? So much uncertainty in the world, and so much sadness. Coming back to writing has been a challenge for me, but I made it back and pleased to be here. 

You may note that one of the few posts on here was written after my father passed away; that was May 1st 2019 and it was followed a year to the day later with the loss of mum. Grief has been a challenge for me, but I feel that I’m starting to come through. Perhaps it’s seeing blossom on the trees, and maybe it’s belief that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Regardless, the heavy cap that seems to have restricted my creative mind has been lifted. My head feels lighter, my attention span is more than two minutes. It’s been a long road, but it seems the most treacherous paths have been overcome.

Over the last twelve months I’ve found solace in painting. Hours fly past while I’m painting, and in many ways the idea of sharing that safe space with the world scares me. But I’m pushing on, and have set myself up to make some videos of my work. I think rather than being a way to share my art, I hope this to perhaps help others who are stuck in the overwhelm of loss. 

More than anything, distraction has been the driver for me turning to my pencils. The need to focus on something, the desire to improve, and the satisfaction upon completion all seem to be seeds of hope planted along my path to acceptance.   

Today’s return to writing has been short, but fruitful. A deep breath is now required to set up the easel and create my first video, and I hope that over the coming months I’m able to help others dealing with their own personal grief. At the end of the day, we are all unique as are our coping mechanisms. There is not a single answer, maybe more of a toolkit.

On a personal level, I created Painterly Ponders because the name encompassed my somewhat erratic method of coping with grief. On days when blind panic set it, the only medicine was art. On other days, I needed to scribble thoughts in my notebook. It seems that now, the ups and downs are more akin to gentle undulations – much preferred to the sense of careering down a mountainside at full pelt. 

These days, the ride is a little easier.

I paint, I reminisce, I write.

I’ll be posting more here soon, and it would be a pleasure if you’ll join me along the way. I think grief is something that cannot be explained, and there is no simple answer. Let’s hope that through my art and writing I can help you navigate the uncertain road through grief.


Thank you for reading,


related posts:

Leave a Reply:

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}